as the time winds down . . .

So as of today I officially have three weeks left in Dakar. And I must say, I'm getting pretty excited! Ever since coming back from my rural visit I have felt this way, but I think it's a really positive feeling. I was really dreading the rural visit before going on it, but after having done it, and having it go really well, I feel like I've accomplished a lot here overall. So it's a good feeling that I'm ready to go home, and since I still do have three weeks left here I have time to finish up my schoolwork (which other than a horrible ten page anthropology research paper in french that has yet to be started isn't too much work) and process everything I've seen here.
I don't know if I'm quite ready to vocalize how I feel about here- I've been talking to a lot of my friends about our experience, and I'm not the only one who is ready to leave here. We've all had a great experience, but we also have a lot of things that we're ready to get back to. Something important that I've realized is that while I do like Senegal, I haven't fallen in love with the country as an overall. I don't know if I was expecting to become enamored with it or what, but I haven't, and that's ok. There's a lot of things here that frustrate me, both on the big scale and on the small scale. So much about Senegal is going in the right direction, but it still lacks so much structure and motivation from so many parties, that a lot of stuff is just so frustrating (for example, why build a whole new airport near Dakar, when the roads that the Senegalese drive on are such a mess that they drive in the fields?).
On the smaller scale, it's hard being white here. One of the reasons I came here was because I wanted to try something different in terms of being a minority. And while it's not as though they're mean towards white people, it's just always pointed out. Everywhere you go. There is nothing wrong with shouting 'toubab!' at a white person and at times it's just annoying. There is also the assumption that since you are white, you have money which means that you can get overcharged for things, even things with a set-price like a sept-place fare from Dakar to another town. Some days it's just exhausting being pointed out all the time and I look forward to that being over- although I'm glad to have had the opportunity in my lifetime to challenge myself in a new situation. And I think it's gotten harder over time because I feel like I should be treated differently, because I'm making a real effort to live here, and not just be a tourist. But alas, they don't know that, they just see that I"m a toubab.
However, on the posititve side, I feel like I have made a ton of progress while here. Although I don't think I will ever reach the 'home' feeling while here, I do feel like I've settled into things a great deal better. I am really grateful for my family, who lets me come and go as I please and is always happy to see me. My little brothers, loud though they may be, are a lot of fun to have around and it makes me really glad that I've ended up in a truly family environment- I think that without them I would not have nearly the understanding that I do of Senegalese culture. Also, it's been awesome having an aunt for a tailor, who randomly gives me new clothing!
Another fun thing was coming home the other night to find out that there was a big fete (party) going on next door! I laid in my bed for about an hour, just listening to the awesome tam-tams, and then eventually going up to the roof and watching the dancing in the neighboring courtyard. The culture here is really so vibrant (aside from the fact that they had the fete with the community month that didn't need to be given to any family that month. Instead they used it for a fete- why save when you can dance? Around here you worry about today and God takes care of tomorrow). I will definetly miss being surrounded by such vibrancy!!!