thoughts on being here .. .

Some days that I’m here I really try to figure out what exactly I’m going to get out of being here. Frequently I’m frustrated with being here because I feel like my independence is gone, something that I really need. I take pride that in my moments/days of boredom I’m able to just go out and wander, find something to do, go sit in a café with a book, something/anything on my own. But here it’s just too hard to do. There is little here that is leisurely, and little to be done on my own. In other places that I’ve lived, like Chicago or DC, or while I was abroad I’ve been able to go out for a walk and window shop or go to a museum or a park. This isn’t to say that I do as much exploring as I should in the US (there’s plenty to see in DC that I have yet to), but at least there’s the option.

Here in Senegal I always feel like I’m waiting for something to do and for people to do it with, a feeling that I really am not fond of. Gradually I’m getting more comfortable with being in downtown Dakar, but even at my most comfortable it is not as though I’m going to go and sit in Place de l’Independance with a book- I’d get absolutely mobbed by people trying to sell me perfume/scarves/shoes/tupperware (no joke), and that is not exactly relaxing. It’s frustrating not having anything to do, so I spend a lot of time reading in my room (not to say that reading isn’t a great thing to do- I’m more than happy with a good book). Sometimes I wonder what my family thinks, since I seem to spend a lot of time in my room. But when I do go and sit in the living room there’s just a lot of TV on, and the conversations are brief. Sometimes there are good interesting conversations- and sometimes it’s just me and my Yaay (mom), who only speaks Wolof and thus there’s nothing much to say.

This all may be very linked with the mood around Senegal during the election. Everything is so focused on the election, and everything was closed today (Sunday), and yesterday we were encouraged to stay in and try to avoid any potential craziness (I don’t think that there was any). And the whole week leading up to this has been all about the election. It is an interesting time to be here, but I feel like it didn’t coincide well with my finally settling into Senegal. I think that once I get back from spring break (woohoo!) I should be able to settle in better and explore a bit more. But like I said, it’s hard to just lazily walk around- if you’re going to the market you had better be ready to buy! Maybe that means I’ll start having to buy people gifts :)

Another thing that I’m still not used to is being a part of a family where I’m responsible for telling them what I’m up to. Not that I’m up to crazy and suspicious things that I have to make an excuse for, but the concept of ‘maybe I’ll be here for dinner’ doesn’t always go over in the right way. They don’t mind at all if I am not here, and I frequently eat meals at school or out with friends, but it’s just the planning ahead that is difficult. My family is very lax with me- I had friends whose families are much more all over them about what they’re doing and eating at home, so I’m lucky in that respect. But sometimes it’s still hard. During the week it’s easier because I’m in school so I have a more fixed schedule, and can know better when I will or won’t be around.

Also, the food. Some days I can eat a lot of it, and other days, not so much. I do like the food here, but only to a certain degree. If they eat, let’s say, a cup of the food, I can eat about ¼-1/3 of a cup. I like it, but there’s only so much I can take! And I’ve probably had about 8 or so dishes here and they get repeated and mixed around, so some days there’s more to look forward to than others (I looooove this one omlette dish, with onions and fries and tomatoes on top of it- definitely enjoy that one).

I’m just really curious to know what the outcome of all of this will be for me, and at the end I might not know what that outcome is. It may take months after getting back to be able to understand what this semester in Dakar has done. I don’t think it will be a regret, and for the most part I enjoy my days here. The time tends to really fly by, and I keep feeling that it is insane that after spring break will be our halfway point, and just weeks after that we have our rural visit (a blog on that one some other time). Either way, being in Dakar is interesting, makes me think a lot, and has given me a lot of time to read. Eventually that leisure reading will be traded in for more projects, but I’ve got my work decently spaced out so at no point will I be overloaded (which I think should be the case when you’re abroad).

I’m going to spend the rest of the evening chilling out, probably reading (a friend just loaned me Heart of Darkness- have yet to start it) and maybe hearing some election news- they count out the different results from the different regions around the country over the radio. If one candidate gets 50%+ of the vote he wins, if not, three weeks from today there will be a runoff- so it’ll keep on going (very possibly). Since Americans will probably not hear about the Senegalese elections, I’ll make sure to post what happened!

Ok, enough reflection for one day (its being going through my head all day, had to write it down!). Hope everyone is well . . .

Update: I'm posting this on Tuesday (I wrote the blog Sunday night) because classes were cancelled yesterday because of the election. They still don't know who won, but everything was pretty much closed yesterday, so school was too. So I went to the beach :)